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Ok,
you know my name is Darius. No, they didn't name me it was the cat
rescue people:( .Oh boy what a name to have,
About
Me
A little about my self if you really care. But I'm going to tell
you anyway.
I'm about one and half years old. I Came from a cat rescue organisation called "Help
For Cats".
I was there with my sister. I couldn't stand her she, was such a
grumpy thing, she just didn't want to do anything. When I wanted to play
with her she just sat there with moody look …
I'm
completely white apart from a very few dark hairs on top of his head which
look like a small dirty patch! Actually they are dirt, but don't tell
them... I got this lovely pink ears and nose which make me look even more
cute.
I'm
very confident and had already explored the whole house within an hour
of arriving here. I still like exploring all the time. Even if I have been
in that room recently, I got to check it out again just in case something new has turned up.
Within a
few weeks of arriving I had settled in very well. I thought hmmm this is a
lovely place, plus there this lovely BIG pond with FISH :) Yes FISH - yummmy
supper time soon I think "wink wink".
Markie says I am a nosey bugger. I do like to get into everything, up to no good, and
always seeking affection and attention. I found it works if I need anything! But they have not sussed that out yet - I wonder how long I can keep this
going…. Humans are such a fools.
Well I suppose I had better tell you about Duchess.
Duchess
As you guess SHE was - and I mean "WAS" my sister. Her name is Duchess.
What were these people on, giving us these names??? I do think I am royalty though... Anyway back onto her. She came with me to this new house.
However after a week it was clear that this was not going to work out.
I had settled in very well whereas SHE
was still hiding under the bed. Stupid thing, she said she was frighten
of those big people!! What a fool - they were the ones who were going to feed you look
and after you! So go on and sulk under the bed, baby!
Anyway one day I thought
I'll start picking on her. And found this was more fun, since she was
such a coward.
One
day I heard Markie talking to that person from Help Foir Cats on the phone. Discussing about the problems SHE was causing. It sounded like she was
going back!! YES, yippee, I done it, got ride of the grumpy bugger, and got the place to myself!
I heard that they all agreed that what SHE needed was
a quiet home with no other cats or dogs, where she could get plenty of
attention and would not be left alone for too long.
She sent me a message the other day...
Dear Darius
I'm having a wonderful time here. No one to pick on me. I'm living with
this lovely old lady and it's great. I hope you don't miss me, as I don't miss you!
I will keep you posted on how things are going, and please do the same to me. I'd like
to know how you are getting on there. Have you had those fish yet?
Love you,
YOUR Sister…
Well
I never - she sound like she having a great time there! Oh well at least
I've got lots to do, see, eat, etc....
Cat
Flaps
I've managed to break three cat flaps, so far. :) Let me tell you how. Warning - these instructions are for cats only - don't let your human see them...
Old Cat Flaps
Before you try this action, make sure your cat flap is rather old, it
works better when they OLD.
Take 20 pace back, then run like hell and head for the
cat flap. run straight into it, as hard as you can. If you are lucky you will hit with a CRASH, and it will be broken! Yippee!!
Warning: This could hurt you a bit, but if it works that doesn't matter! ;-)
New Cat Flaps
Before you try this, check the name on it. If it's made by STAYWELL,
you're in luck. Just walk right up to it and push VERY HARD at the bottom left hand corner of the door, and
you will find it will easily open, even if it's locked! Amazing! Make sure your human doesn't find out though. Humans think STAYWELL cat flaps are good. Us cats know they are rubbish, which is just what we want! Unfortunately Markie found out what I was doing after a week...
Problems
If your human buys you a new CATMATE cat flap, you have a problem. I haven't found out how to open one of these when it is locked yet. I have tried all the ideas above and it won't budge. I have also tried attacking it with my claws. If I find out how to open it I will let you know!
Bees
I have found out a few times - never try to eat or kill bees. These buggers
sting, and I will report that it hurts.
Worms
These are more fun to bring into the house, no matter how angry your human get. The more the better! I have manage to bring in five so far - hehehe what fun that
was!
Pot
plants
You will find these funny pots have got soil in! Yes soil - so you can now
start digging and do your business there instead of the litter tray!
Cat
Food
I can tell you these humans are so stupid! You can get them to buy you all
different types of food, but if you're good at it, you can keep being fussy
on what they give you.
One thing - don't eat the cheap stuff! Make sure you read what's on the Label!
I did and nearly had a shock!! So now I will stick with Felix pouches - but they have to get me lots of different flavours! If they buy me anything else I won't eat it.
Bath
time
This is something you got to watch out for. if your human approaches you wearing an apron, RUN - its bath time!!! If you are too
slow and they do bung you in the bath, here's what you need to do:
1 - scratch the person as much as you can. Don't care where - anywhere will
do.
2 - Struggle like hell, soon the soap will make you
slippery and your free......
Pills
This is a good trick. When they put a pill in your mouth, hid it behind
your tongue, and when they are not looking spit it out. Don't leave it on the floor
where they can find it though - spit it somewhere like behind the hifi or sofa.
Right that's enough from me. I hope you have a good time. I'm off for some
relaxing - typing makes you so tired....
MEOW MEOW
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