Markie and Paul Home Page Elviras Own Web Page

I have added a lots of pictures of myself - I hope you like then. Also I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together. I think it's absolutely brilliant!!!

I'm female, and about 14 years old. I have black fur with little brown speckles all over, apart from some white bits on my paws and chest which I like to keep clean. I also have a rather smart brown patch on the left side of my face, which makes me stand out from all those other boring cats. I weigh about two and a half kilos. My coat is short so it does not need to be trimmed or groomed. Thank goodness! I have good clean teeth - well that's what the vet said last time I went for a check-up. наклейки

I was abandoned by my previous owners, and left in an old cardboard box with my kittens. I don't know what happened to my young ones. If any of my children are reading this, do please write to me and let me know how you are coping. Anyway, we were rescued by the RSPCA in London, and they named me "Elvira". I don't like the name that much - but I suppose it could be worse.

Then this person called Paul came along and saw me in that horrible cage with all those other horrible cats. I was about 18 months old then. He was looking at me so I put on my charm and my friendly purring sound, and he fell for it. I knew he would choose me though, because I was the nicest, sweetest, most delightful cat there!! I'm glad he adopted me, because I couldn't stand many more days in that place. What a nightmare.

I had the operation done to me while I was at the RSPCA, so that I can't have any more kittens. I don't mind though, because I don't think I'd like to go through all that business again.

Eating - I do love eating Felix cat munchies, but they have to be fish flavour. I also eat Felix tinned cat food but this must be tuna. Any other flavours just will not do! Markie calls me a "fussy bugger", but I do have my standards! He did try to give me some cheap stuff, but soon as I smelt it I turned my back on it, and kept pestering him for the right stuff. I won, and got my favourite cat food back.

Going Outside - I spend lots of my time outside sitting on my wall around my garden. I can watch over the whole of my world from there! I also like siting on the small roof, from there I can see everything.

Playing - My favourite toys are anything that's hanging down. The pieces of string in their jogging trousers are fun when they are hanging on the washing line. I also like playing with bird feathers. I'm too lazy to catch real live birds, so instead I find the odd feather and pretend its a really bird that I'm trying to kill.

My Toy Mice - I do love playing with my toy mice. Markie buys me these small plastic mice and I love killing then. You see Markie doesn't like me bringing real mice into the house so instead he buys me these toys. I can't complain because they are more fun to play with and they don't run away.

I also like anything I can chase around the floor - like cotton buds, bent paper clips and polystyrene chips. I pretend they're alive, and pounce on them to try and kill them!

Spiders - I also love playing with spiders. I slap my paw onto them, then leave them under the sofa for Markie to Hoover up.

Sleeping - I really like finding somewhere warm and comfortable, and going to sleep. I particularly like sleeping on clean laundry or on one of the pillows on the bed. Paul and Markie get annoyed with me about that, because they don't like the fur I leave behind! I also like laying on the sofa, or on the sun-lounger. If I'm clever I can pretend to be asleep just when Paul or Markie want to sit there!

The sun-lounger was supposed to be Markie's but when he first put it out I quickly went out to have a look at it. I jumped onto it and found it nice and comfortable, so I decided I would use it instead of him. Markie keeps moaning about it, saying that he brought it for himself not for me. Well I'm sorry but its mine now and I'm staying on it!

I don't like staying out too late at night because I get scared of the dark. There's usually a cats meeting out side the house at midnight, but as I can't get out I'll have to miss it :(

When we had the old cat flap, I used let other cats into the house, and we'd have a party!! But one night Blacky (who lives over the road) made so much noise that Mark found out what was happening and chased all my friends out. The next morning he went out and bought a new electronic cat flap. I have to wear this black thing on my collar so the cat flap will let me in but it won't let any of my friends in. I like sitting just outside and putting my head by the flap so the little red light keeps going on and off. Markie moans that I will wear the battery out but I don't care! Also Markie has set my cat flap so that I can come in but can't go out. So this is why I have to miss those cat meetings now. times square hotel

Being Disturbed - I don't like being pick up when I have just got myself nice and comfortable and warm - that really annoys me. For my revenge I got upstairs and sleep on their bed, or run around on it and mess up the bed covers. If there's some nice clean folded washing on the bed I lay on that. I have to make sure that I leave plenty of fur on their nice clean clothes - that will teach them for disturbing me while I'm sleeping.

Baths - I hate having baths, so when this is going to happen I usually quickly run outside before they can catch me. But now Markie has this cunning idea of shutting the doors and windows while I'm asleep, and before I know it he has got me upstairs in the bath. So to get my own back I try to claw him.

Having My Claws Cut - I don't like having my claws clipped at all - I like then long and sharp! When Markie cuts them I have to claw at the furniture to sharpen them. I try to do it where they won't notice, but they usually find out later. Sometimes I go outside and start clawing at the shed instead. This really gets Markie mad, but it's his fault for cutting them!

Being Picked up - There is one thing that I really hate and that's being cuddled. I keep moaning and trying to tell Paul and Markie that I'm not their toy. This always happens when I've got myself nice and comfortable, then Markie comes along pick me up and starts cuddling me like one of his soft toys. I usually start moaning, and if that doesn't work I start hissing at him. If he still won't put me down I start struggling and digging my claws in. That usually works. I really hate him doing that because it messes up my fur and I have to spend ages licking myself and putting every piece of fur back into the right place.

That Strange Cuddly Toy - Markie bought this strange cuddle toy, it's all red and when he press it's hand it moves across the floor making a horrible noise. It usually chases me across the kitchen floor, which is really scary. It's scary just looking at it! .

Dogs - I don't like it if there are dogs outside. I'm scared of some cats and dogs but only the big ones

The Dyson - Markie has got a new Dyson vacuum cleaner. He said he needs it to clean up my fur but I don't believe him. It's big and grey and yellow and looks really sinister. When it comes out of the cupboard and stands in the kitchen I try to stare at it to frighten it away. But then it starts making that horrible wiring noise so I run upstairs and hide. But it chases me up there too. It even chases me under the bed. It hasn't caught me yet though, because I'm too quick for it.

Vets - I also hate going to the vets for a check up! I know when it's time because that get that carrying box out. When they do eventually get hold of me and put me in it I make so much noise in it. I moan all the time I'm in it.

The vet does two really horrible thinks to me. One is injections, where he sticks needles in my neck. The worst is when he sticks that cold thing up my bum!! Why can't he warm it up a bit first!!!! I make lots of noise but it doesn't stop him.

I am going to tell you about my worst moment - EVER! One day I was sitting on my wall as usual, watching Markie making a pond in the garden. He dug a big hole, then put a plastic thing in it, filled it with water and put in some plants. It was all rather boring, but I had this feeling that something interesting would happen soon. And it did - he got some Fish and put them in his pond! He looked up at me and told me to leave them alone, but I pretended I didn't understand.

I waited until he had finished and gone inside, then I went over to take a much closer look. There were lots of fish, and I didn't think they'd miss just one. I saw this really big tasty looking one, hooked it out of the pond with my fishing paw, and killed it. I was just about to eat it when Markie caught me in the act. He was so furious that he grabbed me and threw me in the pond! I didn't know what had happened, it was all so quick. I must have been so busy with my fish that I didn't see him coming up behind me.

Anyway I jumped out and ran into the house, up the stairs, and hid under the bed until he had calmed down. I won't touch his fish again, I don't even go too close to that horrible, nasty, cold, wet pond. I just sit on my wall and watch those interesting fish swimming round and round. Maybe one day...

The New House

Day 1 - Yep, we have moved into a new house! It was very frighten at first. They put me into the big room and I was very scared! I hid under the blankets because there was lots of people coming in and out putting boxes everywhere.

Day 2 - Things started to quieten down and I decided to explore the new house. I have to say there are loads of rooms to explore and even more cupboards to look into. I did go outside (even though Paul and Markie tried to stop me) but I didn't got very far. The garden was rather big and I didn't want to get lost.

Day 3 - I decided to go outside again. Well I pestered Markie to go out, so he let me out, but he was there watching me. I didn't go to far again, because it was a big garden. Also too many people kept walking by the front path and frighten me, so I decided to go back in and stay in, where it was safe.

Day 4 - They have now settled down, and finished putting all the stuff in the right places. I did notice that we got central heating so it so lovely and warm. Markie went and brought me this cat bed that hangs onto the radiator and it lovely - it's so warm! Anyway I wanted to go outside again, so this time Markie let me out the back. I haven't been out the back before so this was something new to me, I went and had a look around. There were loads of places to explore, but as it was new I didn't go too far.

Day 5 - I have now settled down and I have to say I really do love this new house - there lots to do. I went out the back garden and stayed out for sometime. But there was something new I found out. If Markie lets me out the back I have found a way to walk around the house to the front door.

Markie has put a cat flap in the front door for me so he don't have to open the doors any more, so now its easy for me to come in. Also, because it is a big garden, there are loads of birds!!! I haven't managed to get any yet, because soon as they see me they all fly away into the tree at the bottom of the garden. I don't want to chase them up the tree - not after when I got stuck up a tree some time ago. I don't want that to happen to me again.

Day 6 - I met some cats but I didn't like the look of them! They looked a bit rough to me. Also there is this one cat that seens to think me owns the whole area! He sleep all over the place - he likes sleeping on the cars and on the garage roofs. I have been warned by other cats he is the boss around here. So I'll keep my away from him.....

Day 7 - Did nothing. Now after all that exploding it's time to rest....

Fish Tank

Sine Markie and Paul moved in the new house, Markie has gone and brought this funny thing that has fishes inside! I have tried number of time to get to the fishes but there is some thing stopping me! It's strange - I cant understand what it is!

All I knew is that these fishes keep swing around tempting me but I cant get them :(

But I will do soon - I wont give up!

About Markie and Paul

Markie keeps calling me Queen, instead of Elvira. I get annoyed with him about this, although I do think I am the most important person in the whole world, and expect to be treated like royalty!

Sometimes he spoils me by giving me some of my favourite Felix munchies. I do wish he would just put them in my bowl though, instead of making me chase them around the kitchen floor!

Paul doesn't tease very much, and sometimes he even tells Markie to stop when he has been teasing me a lot. Markie doesn't take any notice though.

I like sleeping on Paul's side of the bed at night because he doesn't usually push me off when he is asleep, like Markie does.

Paul used to have THAT DOG, which I didn't like at all! He used to fight with me, so I had to hide upstairs in the bedroom sometimes. Paul and Markie would tell him off for this, and I would sit on the stairs and laugh at him! He has passed away now, so I can now get some peace. I do miss him sometimes, because it is very quiet during the day when Paul and Markie are at work.

I suppose I had better thank Paul and Markie for helping me with my pages. I would have done it all myself except my paws are too big for the keys on the keyboard. That's my excuse anyway!

Well I must go now. I'm going to have my dinner, then I'm going to sleep for the rest of the day. It's a hard life being a cat!